So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
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