I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
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I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
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