dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
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