bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Randomize
