oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
I want to be your penis for a week.
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
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The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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