If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
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