I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
