i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
True strength comes from lack of pants
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
Randomize
