i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Randomize
