so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
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