I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
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He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
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