I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
I want to fling myself into the sun
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
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