i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
