I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
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