i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize
