so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
My dick has a subreddit
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
