my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Randomize
