Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
is wine microwaveable?
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
Randomize
