that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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