when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
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