Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize