with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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