we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
Randomize
