where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
Alive.
So much puke
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
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