I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
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