i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
Randomize
