Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
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