apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
Randomize
