She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize