it's too hot outside to masturbate.
I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
Randomize
