Grow some girl-balls and come out already
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize
