Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
Randomize
