she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
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It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
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I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
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