Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
we're so committed to being not committed
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Randomize
