finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
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I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
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What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
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