I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
Randomize
