Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
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