Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
Bring me that man meat
This couple is walking their pig around campus
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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