I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
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