My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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