Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
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