Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
