Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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