I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
Hippo gnu deer
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
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