omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
