Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
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