It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
I just sucked dick on a ferry
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
