Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
she peed on how many people?
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
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