I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
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