Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
