the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
Randomize