one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Randomize
