and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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