i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
you are never too drunk for berry picking
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Randomize
