is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
and i looked up. we had an audience...
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
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