im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
