You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize
