I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
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