i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
I wish I only lived at night.
the condom got lost in my hair
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
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