It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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