I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
