The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
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