No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
